How to Fall in Love Again

How to Fall in Love Again

One of God’s laws of marriage from Genesis 2 is that a man “shall cleave” to his wife. That word cleave means to pursue with all energy. It’s an energetic word. From the very beginning, God told us marriages take work. Our culture, on the other hand, tells us that love just happens. That romance is some kind of magic that occurs between two people. Marriages fail because of these misconceptions about love and romance. In order to have a successful relationship, we have to get rid of these misconceptions. The first misconception is that marriage should be effortless. People think the emotions will always be there. Every morning they’ll wake up deeply in love, because they married their soul mate. Soul mates are not born. They’re made. The best marriages don’t come from some unexplainable chemistry between people who live happily ever after. They are made between two people who have high goals and a hard work ethic. The second misconception is that emotions never change. That’s not true either. Emotions are unpredictable. They come and go. They change—even emotions toward your spouse. The best kind of love isn’t ruled by emotion, but by choice. It’s agape love—God’s type of love. I don’t know what my emotions will be tomorrow, but I’m always in control of my will. I’ve made a decision to love Karen Evans unrelated to how I feel. The third misconception is that positive moments fuel a marriage long-term. In other words, a vacation to Hawaii or a big Valentine’s weekend can sustain the relationship between a husband and wife for a lengthy amount of time. But like the children of Israel who had to gather manna every day because it would spoil, marriage must be renewed every day. Love is a perishable commodity. It doesn’t matter what your emotions were a year ago. Marriages don’t operate on a point system. The fourth misconception is that love can’t be restored. In some marriages, the emotions may disappear. A couple may fall out of love. They think it’s over. But it’s never over. In Revelation 3, the church at Ephesus has fallen out of love with God. So he tells them to return to their first love. To do the same things they did at first. Karen and I fell out of love early in our marriage. The loving emotions were gone between us. We didn’t like each other and thought we’d made a huge mistake. Our marriage was only healed when we began to do the things we did when we first fell in love. We began to pursue each other. We spent time together. We worked on our relationship. I stopped playing golf. Within several weeks, we found ourselves more in love than we’d ever been before. The passion returned. When marriages fail, it’s often because people are believing lies about their relationship. These come from the Devil. He wants us to believe these misconceptions because they lead to divorce. But they don’t have to. Put each other first and start working on your marriage and you can get the love back. You can fall in love all over again. Blessings,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>